When we declare to ourselves that we love someone. Do we really love that person for all their strengths weakness and all? Or are we just fascinated by the person's fresh impression on you? The string of events, ideals and background that the person encompasses? I thought I know, but I'm not sure anymore. Cos even as matured men, we can be childish and cling on to ideas that we felt are the "right" ones. To be ourselves, can we "cling on" to such ideas? are these ingredients of our hopes and secret wish? I really don't know anymore.

How can an idea hang onb to you for 5 years without diminsihing? but it never went forward too? I don't know anymore ...

East Coast Park brings back lots of memories. It can't be erased. All I have to do is take a walk along the cycling track and take a look at the sea, all the memories of Rawa Island and rolla blading seasons came back. As vivid as though all these events happened only yestrerday. The face that always pops up : "you know who".

Listen to Do As Infinity, and memories of Japan comes in. Makes you wanna go there again. See the country side, see the city, the billboards and the vending machines. Even smoking a cigarette there is an experience by itself....

Driving towards the airport along ECP.... yes, the part with the flowery road island and no canopy. On a good day, you can se the clouds and blue sky. Reminds me of the theme "Under a Common Sky". My ride plays Do As Infinity at that time and what do i see in the clouds .... "you know who".

Feel good and bad at the same time... ain't life a big contradiction and an irony? Enjoying it...

Bro, are you married or..?

I am bro. These are memories lah. Sometimes its good to bring it out ....

I'm still sober and sound. And I behave

If I translate a recent J phrase correctly, it says that good time flies quickly and the happy moments are soon over. wonder if i got it correct.

Wonder why the person said this. Must be the recent aussie trip I guess. Gals can't hide such stuff. when they are in a relationship, they glow, they became busy, and are only available to a inner circle group. and when they are sad, the became very introspective.

another person seemed like she just got "kicked" out of a relationship and was exactly as I've described. very introspective. thinking of stuff that those mushy korean drama are made of. WTF! this is what our younger gen's mind are made of?

it's mushy. but they did one thing better than my gen though. they are more expressive.

its fun to study such cases. u grow with them.

I see a lot recently. If I don't deposit it somewhere. I'll explode. I chose this place cos it's my cyber home and I think it doesn't have that much traffic. and it's safe from my subject of study.

well ... if traffic gets heavy, i could just move it. Evil and ingenious.

Some people put up a good cheerful front behind certain sadness. that's good cos they understand that life has to go on. way to go G! so the "G in the future" is in action huh?

If we just keep our eyes and heart open, we can sense things. doesn't matter if we are guys and are supposed to be bo chap or insensitive or masculine. I'm as musculine and testerone driven as any guy yet I sure can sense such stuff. hmmmmm helps me get into theri mind? no just tat... it helps u understsnd your friends better.

cheers to platonic stuff.

As usual, some pp just pop back into the scene when u told yourself that they have been forgotten. if it happens once, its coincidence, if it happens twice, it luck. if it happens whenever this thought comes for 5 frigging years, it's call fate!

now this is interesting cos is there really such a thing called "unfulfilled karma"? and if there is, how do we fulfil it?

U can sense that someone is opening up and braking down the barrier when they bare more and wants to know more. it doesn't matter if you do not talk face to face. it can be felt.

the force is strong with this one ......

It's sometimes difficult to get your better half to understand the extend of your passion. especially when the passion involve boys' toys which are otherwise simple modes of transport or other non self-beautifying gadgets.

automobiles are one good example. there are a frigging high chance that your better half do not appreciate a gain in bhp or a glossier exterior or even a brighter setg of lights.

these differences are pre programmed internal operating functions. it can't be changed. both genders will always have different priorities and opinions. u can't just reflash the ecu and hope for the best.

a recent case: views of racing as a sport.

the other half's view - it's not a sport, it's dangerous, it's unecessary and there are many other alternative to this dangerous sport and it's expensive.

and logically sepang and pg are places that big boys must stay away from as it is a place of bad influence. much like the comic shop that you are told not to go in as there bigger boys that the school bullies....

one day ....

I ask her to take a look at my dubster streetstarr civic, asked her if this ride look sporty enuff. she said yes. then I continued to ask if a sporty looking ride's destiny lies on a track and she just stared at me and adruptly broke away from the "spell" and said "NO!"

I must train harder. May the force be with me ...

Don't we just love being different from our other half?

We need rest. Everyone who thinks that they are superman, or former commandos, who think that sleep is not an option will soon learn that they can't fight this war and win it!

I've go on a 3 hr sleep regime for about 2 weeks and suffered the consequence.

By the time it peaked, I have short attention span, short memory, can enjoy my waking hours and can't sleep soundly. I can feel sleepy while standing ... It was just waiting for hallucination to top it all up!

the first step to helping yourself is cancel all appointments, drop all work, and just relax sand sleep. Dun feel that you must fall asleep to gain lost time, that won't work. Just let it drift. It will and it will be sweet slumber.

Exercise off the rust after that and in about 10 days, you will feel nearly as good as new.

January hasn't been good to me. In fact, it seem like the finale for Lunar 2006 to wrap up my one-year full boarding luxury edition torment rookie programme. Got a ticket on the first day of work, gotr mind-fucked again and again, got delayed payment while got chased till pants drop on my end, got small vandalism, got work delayed, got being treated like a all-in-one maid cum editor, got bad hair days. amidst all this "luxury indulgence", I still felt the blitz of freedom, the warmth of friends, the satisfaction of accomplishment, the emotions of my babe.

I dun noe.

Life is fair I guess. But I wish I am more "priviledged". Greedy Fuck, but what the.... keep wishing.

It's not everyday u meet someone for the first 10min and u have an impression this person understands u. I had a similar experience before some year back. And this experience came back as a part 2 but with bigger production budget and better special effects. a definite 5 star blockbuster wahahahahaha!

Amidst all the good words there's always a lesson, a moral to learn.

Verdict: thread carefully even though u are on a bed of rose, as amidst the sweet fragrance, and beautiful sights, there's thorns! what I am I trying to say - we do not take our soulmates for granted. rub anything the wrong way and u face its wrath.

do not do unto others what u wouldn't want others to do unto u.

but issn't it good to feel that there's really pp like u out there?

( reminds me of the soundaholic ad from sony mp3 walkman! )

believe in this:

when u are given an opportunity, grab it!

if u ever lose it and let it pass. u will never get it back. it's a way life tells u tt you should cherish everything given to you.

Will be back on this

cont'd ...

if u don't cherished a gift opportunity, you may lose that skill for ever. it's like ... if a gal wants to go to bed with you, dun disappoint her. and if u ever do it, dun hold back, cos if u do, u will max out your gift on that self-restrained maximum. just like charging a new lithium battery.

this applies to not just sex of course, ( but that's always a good example).

ok, a more appropriate example.
if given a chance to do a biz with an investor. do not just rush into things and think that your good luck will brings you more opportunity in the near future. it may not always be the case. you may be get an investment of 100,000 where you should be asking for 500,000. by the time you need the 400,000, it may be used to invest in other things since the investor may think u do not need it anymore. and thus venture into something else with the spare cash. and this creates a chain reaction.

less investment = less manuverablilty = less weather ready = open to competitor atrtack = less market share = slower growth = less opportunity = less confidence = less bargaining power = less investor interest = less (future) investment

everything can be full circle

dun ever waste an opportunity.

back to the sex scene then ... dun ever undress a gtirl and dun screw her. U may never have an other girl to undress ever ... cos u abused your ......... LUCK! that's why.